MSwift P.I. and the Case of the Missing Dog (Ch. 7)

Chapter Seven


I'm sitting at a truck stop 100 miles outside Melton, Ohio, nursing my third cup of coffee and trying to shake off the road jitters...but...12:54 PM Aug 6th from web

I solved the case, claimed the rest of my money and called my mom. Not sure what to do about @sasseefrassee yet. Anyway, about that case...12:58 PM Aug 6th from web

Last night, with less than 24 hours until Mr. Vonagan returned from Singapore I decided to play the only string I had left....Mavens1:00 PM Aug 6th from web

Carl Mavens is a neighbor of Donovan's, is on the Melton PD reserve and the only suspect I had left. If it wasn't Mavens, then it was nobody1:04 PM Aug 6th from web

Knowing I was possibly stepping into danger, I strapped on my potato gun, grabbed a couple spuds and pulled my fedora down tight...1:07 PM Aug 6th from web

I was ready for war. Mavens was on duty when I got the K-9 instead of a poodle; he's a neighbor of Donovan's and member of MPD so he knew...1:12 PM Aug 6th from web

...about Donovan and Mrs. V--had to know. And he must have noticed the damage to Donovan's squad car, and noticed him bringing Mitzy home...1:13 PM Aug 6th from web

...crazy with jealousy, rage or I-don't-know-what, Mavens took the dog as retribution, I thought. And thats the problem with me and thinking1:15 PM Aug 6th from web

by the time I kick open the front door of his trailer, I am convinced Mavens is the guy...that's why I shot first and asked questions later1:17 PM Aug 6th from web

Mavens, fortunately or not, was on the toilet at the time and missed the two spuds I shot blindly into his trailer. He emerged trailing TP..1:19 PM Aug 6th from web

"What the hell is going on?" he shouted, pants around his ankles. I wanted to explain--pose my questions in a rational manner. But I didn't1:21 PM Aug 6th from web

Two of Idaho's choicest spuds to the chest and he crumpled. "Alright old man, where's the dog?" finally broke free from my clenched jaw...1:22 PM Aug 6th from web

He sputtered something about his retirement and pacemaker, btu I wasn't having any of it. "Tell me about Mitzy! I know your type--jealous...1:23 PM Aug 6th from web

that Donovan chose Mrs. Vonagan over you, you took Mitzy to extract your revenge, didn't you!"1:25 PM Aug 6th from web

It wasn't a question, actually, and it wasn't possible for him to speak with my boot on his face, but I wanted answers, dammit.1:26 PM Aug 6th from web

"The dog Mavens, where's the black poodle you swiped from Officer Donovan's basement?" I grabbed him by the collar, dragged him to his feet.1:27 PM Aug 6th from web

"I swear, I don't know what you're talking about!" he lied. I grabbed him by his exposed short hairs and he sang like a birdie...1:29 PM Aug 6th from web

"Ok, ok, I do love Mark...but he's like a son to me, that's all!" It was hard to understand him through the sobbing; i strained my ears...1:31 PM Aug 6th from web

"The dog, Mavens? What about the dog," I asked, my hand full of curly black pubes, pulling just a little bit further away from his privates.1:33 PM Aug 6th from web

"Iyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!1:34 PM Aug 6th from web

That was all I could hear. Lucky for me @mswiftsmom taught me to read lips. Mavens said he did love Mark, since Donovan was his niece's kid1:36 PM Aug 6th from web

he raised Donovan ever since she died in 1997; he knew about Donovan and Mrs. V, didn't approve, but protested in silence. My grip loosened.1:39 PM Aug 6th from web

Is anyone else having problems with Twitter today? This thing is taking forever. I started this update about 3 hours ago. Damn my luck...1:43 PM Aug 6th from web

Anyway, gotta go take a leak. I'll have to finish my story after a bit. Just keep thinking, "Matt's got him by the short hairs." Cause i did1:44 PM Aug 6th from web

Line for the head was a mile long Desperate to pee after all that coffee, i waited. Several guys came out of the john, each had a giant dick2:42 PM Aug 6th from web

erson banner around their necks. whoever that is, i have no idea.2:43 PM Aug 6th from web

Getting back to my story: So there I was, Maven's manhood in the palm of my hand, his breath coming in ragged gasps...crap-that sounds gay2:45 PM Aug 6th from web

RT @sasseefrassee @MSwiftPI you have another stalker you know (@Matts1Luv) ***you know I know this already. We were prepared for this...2:53 PM Aug 6th from web

Rt @sasseefrassee @MSwiftPI you have another stalker you know (@Matts1Luv) ***that's why we use Twitter. That's we have The Rules; No pics2:54 PM Aug 6th from web

RT @sasseefrassee @MSwiftPI you have another stalker you know (@Matts1Luv) ***no personal data (that can be helped: MOM!!!)2:55 PM Aug 6th from web

RT @sasseefrassee @MSwiftPI you have another stalker you know (@Matts1Luv) ***and trust no one!!! especially @mswiftsmom!!!2:57 PM Aug 6th from web

@sasseefrassee I'm afraid I did. There's a right and a wrong time to be holding another man's cajones in your hands. I thought this was it3:12 PM Aug 6th from web in reply to sasseefrassee

But, I digress. getting back to my story-I'm holding Maven's package like is the last quarter-pounder on earth and he's whining like a bitch3:13 PM Aug 6th from web

how he loved Donovan like a son, and only got involved when he saw me tailing after the damn dog; "I was the one who let the K-9 get ya...3:22 PM Aug 6th from web

...although he's so old he took hours before he noticed you weren't me and went for you. Bastard old dog..."3:24 PM Aug 6th from web

But Maven swore on his niece's grave he had nothing to do with the dog disappearing."The last I seen it, that old K-9 was sniffin' its hind"3:26 PM Aug 6th from web

I had a thought. But I needed the old man. Unfortunately, he had messed himself and I wasn't about to bring his dirty in the sanitary truck3:33 PM Aug 6th from web

It was easy to drag his frail old body outside and strap it to the hood, but I didn't expect the crowd. I was in a trailer park after all...3:35 PM Aug 6th from web

Then I saw it, in the crowd,a small child. Big brown eyes, a slender child, holding a small puppy. Part Police Canine--pt Poodle. Germoodle3:37 PM Aug 6th from web

I swapped the kid a 5 gallon bucket of strawberry/banana ice cream for the whole litter, plus mom. Seems she wandered off to have the kids..3:39 PM Aug 6th from web

craziest thing. she nesting right under the neighbor's trailer the whole time. I cut the old man free and rolled him to the curb. "Thanks."3:42 PM Aug 6th from web

I took the dogs back to Mrs. V. The bitch was pleased to see her master. Mr. V had returned home. I played it like I was from the vet.3:43 PM Aug 6th from web

Ended up selling my entire ice cream supply to the Vonagans. Made a cool $70k right there. I thought about buying a new vehicle....3:44 PM Aug 6th from web

I assured the Vonagans Mitzy would be fine and advised them that all "vet services" were rendered "confidential" and winked at Mr.s V3:45 PM Aug 6th from web

So pleased was I at the ending of this case, I did indeed buy myself something new. Something flashy & full of verve: new feather for my hat3:47 PM Aug 6th from web

then I packed up my crap and headed west. to this dump. To put down my thoughts. To answer fan mail...of which I have none. Just 1 stalker3:48 PM Aug 6th from web

Hrrrrmmm.3:49 PM Aug 6th from web