Thursday, September 24, 2009

MSwift P.I. and the Case of the Missing Dog (Ch. 3)

Chapter Three



@sasseefrassee thanks for the offer, but I'm ok. I can handle this case myself. I'll call if I need help :-)8:23 PM Jul 16th from web

@mswiftsmom yes, i am wearing clean socks. yes, i am eating. no i don't need dad to come check the truck, it's fine. I just need clues...8:26 PM Jul 16th from web

it's been almost two weeks and i'm no closer to closing this case than if I'd spent the entire time in an ether coma...8:32 PM Jul 16th from web

What I know: 1. Mrs. Vonnagan's prized poodle, "Mitzy" turned up missing nearly two weeks ago...8:33 PM Jul 16th from web

2. fan of former President George Bush and rottweiler dont want me to and are willing to make me drink from urinals to prevent it...ewww.8:34 PM Jul 16th from web

3. using ice cream as a lure only attracts stinging insects, not missing dogs.8:35 PM Jul 16th from web

MPD Officer Mark Donovan (& his K-9 partner) are likely the George Bush duo. But why don't they want Mitzy found?8:39 PM Jul 16th from web

...and what is that ticking sound? seems to be coming from under my seat...hang on a second...8:40 PM Jul 16th from web

stupid old Timex wristwatch...makes a lot of noise. I thought it was broken...6:46 PM Jul 16th from web

@sasseefrassee you thought it was a bomb?! ROTFL laughing...it's just a missing dog case...stop worrying about me.6:48 PM Jul 16th from web

i'm heading back to the motel. I have to do some online research. see what I can find out about Donovan and his K-9...and Mrs. Vonnagan...!6:53 PM Jul 16th from web

speaking of Mrs. V--here she comes now...walking right up to my truck, wearing a transparent nightie...did I mention she's size XXXL? eewwww7:03 PM Jul 16th from web

hang on...7:04 PM Jul 16th from web

as I suspected, Mrs. V wanted to seduce me with her womanly wiles...fortunately she took a five gallon bucket of fudge ripple instead...7:48 PM Jul 16th from web

and left me a new clue. she said, "Mitzy was all I had Mr. Swift. Find her and I'll make it worth your time and effort. But please....7:51 PM Jul 16th from web

don't let my husband know what you're doing. He'll be back in town soon. Spent the last two weeks abroad and I don't want him to know.7:52 PM Jul 16th from web

Mitzy was a gift from him, Mr. Swift. And I'd do anything to keep him from knowing I lost her. You understand, don't you?" and I did.7:53 PM Jul 16th from web

--someone hated that dog. And I think I know who. But not why...7:54 PM Jul 16th from web

I'm heading back to the motel to order more fudge ripple online and Google "Mr. Vonnagan"...7:56 PM Jul 16th from web

Three days of research and near as I can tell Carl Vonnagan is an import/exporter who specializes in, of all things, plastic novelty toys...3:43 PM Jul 19th from web

Those little plastic dogs that smoke fake cigarettes: his best selling item. Seems to have a penchant for pretty women but didn't marry one3:45 PM Jul 19th from web

Also filthy rich, with a capital R and has deep ties to the Swedish Mafia..deadly, dangerous blondes; everyone can ski and shoot w/precision3:47 PM Jul 19th from web

Lots of info on Mr. V but nothing more on the dog. Decided to check out Officer Donovan. Unlike the Vonnagan's he lives in a trailer court..3:49 PM Jul 19th from web

well, what's left of the trailer court, anyway.His was the only one with a basement, and that's all that remained after last weekends storms3:51 PM Jul 19th from web

Donovan has been working lots of overtime so I've decided to...3:51 PM Jul 19th from web

@mswiftsmom no mom, i don't need to dad to come out and look at the truck. It's fine. really. now stop tweeting at me-i'm trying to think3:53 PM Jul 19th from web

anyway--i've decided to check out Donovan's basement tonight while he's busy with Operation Pullover. Maybe i'll get lucky...and find a clue3:55 PM Jul 19th from web

@mswiftsmom please don't send dad. really. the truck is running just fine. and don't mail any more cookies! they get here all yucky...3:56 PM Jul 19th from web

@mswiftsmom envelopes were not made for shipping chocolate chip cookies...all I got were crumbles and a nasty note from the postman3:56 PM Jul 19th from web

back to the case: what i need is a disguise. ice cream truck way too noticeable; decided to borrow a bicycle; little girl's down the street4:00 PM Jul 19th from web

be right back...hang on a second...4:00 PM Jul 19th from web

Geez- barely escaped with my life! Does everyone in this town have a rottweiler? Time for plan B; no kid can resist cookie dough ice cream..4:11 PM Jul 19th from web

unless they're allergic to ice cream...rotten brat. Failed at borrowing her bike, but I did manage to swipe her brother's pogo stick...4:15 PM Jul 19th from web

@mswiftsmom yes, i'll be certain to wear knee pads and a helmet on my stakeout. Now please go watch 60 minutes and let me work!4:16 PM Jul 19th from web

@sasseefrassee @mswiftsmom i'll be careful; no more bees or cliffs or park restrooms; it's a simple stakeout. what could possibly go wrong?4:18 PM Jul 19th from web

Problem with little girls: Big brothers who dont like strange men borrowing their pogo sticks. I'll be limping to the stakeout instead; ouch5:36 PM Jul 19th from web

While Obama yammers I have an opportunity to check out Donavan's abode...or dump, depending on how you look at it. He's living in a tent...5:12 PM Jul 22nd from web

Donovan is a red-white-and-not-so-blue Republican; while he's at the bar spitting at the t.v. screen, I can search his campsite...5:13 PM Jul 22nd from web

I mean, just because you're living in a tent doesn't mean you have live like an animal. I live in an ice cream truck--but I still bathe....5:14 PM Jul 22nd from web

occasionally, anyway. Donovan left his K-9 partner behind while he drinks.Fine. I'm going to toss his K-9 partner steak w/ crushed Nytol...5:16 PM Jul 22nd from web

nighty-nite Rover. (heh-heh!) Just a few minutes for it to take effect then I can search the stinking campsite area in peace...not pieces...5:17 PM Jul 22nd from web

and that basement. I have to get into that basement, so I'm bringing my lockpicks....hang on--sorry5:18 PM Jul 22nd from web

@mswiftsmom not now mom, I'm about to drug a dog and search a cops private residence--please don't tell anyone!!!!! I'll call you later...5:19 PM Jul 22nd from web

ok...i brought the truck back and parked a block away from Donovan's place; I just drove by and tossed the Nytol-laden steak out the window5:22 PM Jul 22nd from web

Rover gobbled it in one bite! Glad that wasn't my behind...hang on...5:22 PM Jul 22nd from web

@mswiftsmom yes--i'm wearing clean underwear. no, i'm not listening to Obama. I'm working here, ma! C'mon, I'm trying to stage a break-in..!5:23 PM Jul 22nd from web

anywaaaaaaayyyyyyy--Rover should be out like a light in a few minutes. I'm going to walk over there and check. I'll come back when I know...5:25 PM Jul 22nd from web

it took longer than expected. a lot longer. i'm eaten alive by mosquito's, but it was worth it; K-9 dropped like a sack of flour....6:47 PM Jul 22nd from web

Now all i need to do is sneak back, find some clues, and sneak back. Nobody, especially Donovan, will be the wiser. Back later...6:48 PM Jul 22nd from web

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