Thursday, September 24, 2009

MSwift P.I. and the Case of the Missing Dog (Ch. 4)

Chapter Four


While Donovan's dog slept like a baby I was able to search around his impromptu tent city; not much to show for my trouble: beer cans, beans5:36 PM Jul 23rd from web

and a very strange odor..never did figure out that smell. Picked the lock on the basement door and found something very strange...5:38 PM Jul 23rd from web

...some blankets stuffed inside a cardboard box; a couple bowls-one with water and one empty; and boxes after box of midget pornos...creepy5:39 PM Jul 23rd from web

I made my way back out of the basement and was heading back to my truck. But it was dark and I forgot about the K-9 fast asleep...5:40 PM Jul 23rd from web

I tripped right over the 200 lb behemoth and he didn't move a muscle. In fact, he was quite, quite still. Like a rock-that doesn't breathe..5:41 PM Jul 23rd from web

Maybe it was the bottle of Nytol I mixed in the steak. Too much? I tried mouth to mouth--moved his Alpo flavored tongue aside and huffed...5:42 PM Jul 23rd from web

I tried pounding on his chest to start his heart with every five breaths...nothing. All I got for my trouble was really, really bad breath..5:42 PM Jul 23rd from web

now I'm a cop killer. Well, a K-9 killer anyway. An accidental K-9 killer.OMG!!! I saw Half-Baked--I know what's coming next!! A 6ft cell &5:44 PM Jul 23rd from web

a new best friend named Bubba! I'm too pretty for prison!!!5:48 PM Jul 23rd from web

@mswiftsmom not now ma!!! Can't you see I'm trying to avoid prison here...!5:49 PM Jul 23rd from web

@sasseefrassee of course everything is fine. What makes you think there's a problem?5:52 PM Jul 23rd from web

@sasseefrassee oh, the dog thing. Not to worry i have it all under control.5:52 PM Jul 23rd from web

OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??????5:52 PM Jul 23rd from web

I just left the dog lying right where I found him. Thought maybe Donovan wouldn't notice...5:53 PM Jul 23rd from web

went back to the truck then back to the motel and went to bed thinking the whole thing might blow over....5:54 PM Jul 23rd from web

Today the entire population of Melton turned out for a parade to honor their fallen K-9. Turns out he was kinda famous...and missed..a lot.5:55 PM Jul 23rd from web

I stayed in bed all day.The wake just finished, so i figure it's safe for me to venture outside. So far, SWAT hasn't shown interest in me...5:57 PM Jul 23rd from web

I need time to think; i have some clues; i have some evidence; i need to put it all together solve the case and get the hell out of town...6:00 PM Jul 23rd from web

@mswiftsmom no, i don't want my old room back. thanks anyway.6:02 PM Jul 23rd from web

i need to sign off here and think...and think fast. Before Mr. V gets back from overseas or Donovan figures out what happened to his dog...6:03 PM Jul 23rd from web

Just overheard the coroner talking to Donovan at the local diner-the dog died of natural causes! Not the bottle of Nytol I slipped him...7:03 AM Jul 24th from web

Unfortunately, Donovan is convinced it was foul play and has started his own investigation. If I don't solve this case soon, I'm sunk...7:03 AM Jul 24th from web

I've decided to take a couple days off and focus on the ice cream business. The whole point of this trip was to make a little money selling10:20 AM Jul 25th from web

my family's secret recipe ice cream flavors. "Fava Beans and Chianti" "Soylent Green" and to fight crime on an as needed basis.10:22 AM Jul 25th from web

It's a tough life on the road. I miss Susie, my best gal back home in Illinois. We've been together since we were kids, she wants marriage..10:23 AM Jul 25th from web

I'm content with what we got. Same old story I guess. Either way, this life of mine always seems to get in the way.10:24 AM Jul 25th from web

I have a little sister; mom and dad live in California. I had a pet turtle once when I was a kid, but he kept dying...over and over again...10:25 AM Jul 25th from web

that's when I learned you can't always trust your mother. (So said, Lou Reed)10:25 AM Jul 25th from web

My dad retired from a doughnut factory after 35 years. He doesn't say much that isn't snack related; we used to enter eating competitions...10:27 AM Jul 25th from web

but we had to quit after his second heart attack. Now we only talk occasionally--like when mom makes him get on the phone and talk to me.10:27 AM Jul 25th from web

I Tweet on an HP mini. It's Matte Black in color and slips right inside my trench coat pocket. Sprint keeps me wired worldwide...mostly.10:29 AM Jul 25th from web

Well, I'm going to head out of town for a day and let things cool down...Donovan has been by here a couple times asking me questions...10:30 AM Jul 25th from web

he's suspicious alright. Hopefully,out of sight-out of mind. I'll be back though. Mrs. V is still counting on me. And I know I'm close too..10:31 AM Jul 25th from web

I collected some hair samples from Donovan's squad car surreptitiously. Well, actually I had to do some community service anyway, so why not7:21 PM Jul 26th from web

I think I understand now what happened, but not quite why. And I'm still dodging Donovan's suspicions about his K-9. I just need a bit more7:22 PM Jul 26th from web

I need to pay a visit to the animal shelter, check it out, see what's up. Someone there intentionally gave me the vicious dog instead of the7:23 PM Jul 26th from web

poodle I needed. Who else is involved in this. How deep does this dog-napping conspiracy go? And where is Mitzy now?7:23 PM Jul 26th from web

Oh, I also got a call from my mom today. Apparently some two-bit reporter was trying to pass himself off as me.7:24 PM Jul 26th from web

Mom threatened to sue him for impersonating a law enforcement officer; i saw his pic- and he's hardly leading man material like myself...7:26 PM Jul 26th from web

@sasseefrassee is back on twitter now. Just when I thought it was safe for me here...she'll be hounding me about the wedding again soon...7:27 PM Jul 26th from web

I DO love her but I REALLY need to solve this case and move on before she convinces me to come back home. I hate it there: It's where Dad is7:29 PM Jul 26th from web

Anyway I'll take these hairs back to my truck-I keep a lab behind the freezers- & hopefully I'll prove what i need to prove. In the meantime7:30 PM Jul 26th from web

I could go for a scoop of Soylent Green ice cream in a waffle cone...helps me think. Then I'm off to animal shelter under cover of darkness7:31 PM Jul 26th from web

@sasseefrassee hi sweetie. Sorry I missed you, but I'm so busy I can hardly spare time to Twitterer at you7:32 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to sasseefrassee

@sasseefrassee thanks for sticking up for me with that loser @jerrybattiste--between you and my mom if he's smart he'll never do that again.7:34 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to sasseefrassee

huh? hang on...what was that?7:34 PM Jul 26th from web

I was taking the shortcut back to my motel-the alley behind Mrs. Vonagan's house & guess who I just saw coming out the back door?7:36 PM Jul 26th from web

Donovan was slipping out buttoning his shirt as he went and blowing a kiss over his shoulder-eww! But more importantly--what's up with that?7:37 PM Jul 26th from web

RT @EitherOrFilms: When you're finished changing, you're finished. -Benjamin Franklin (when nothing adds up, everything starts....7:38 PM Jul 26th from web

falling into place.)7:39 PM Jul 26th from web

I have to think about this...7:39 PM Jul 26th from web

@mswiftsmom sorry i can't be more like Marvin, mom. But at least i still have all my hair. And Nancy is fat, mom. Anyway, i'm working7:48 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to mswiftsmom

@mswiftsmom my Twitter account is for work, mom, not chit-chat. If you want to talk call me on the cell. BUT NOT NOW!! I'm trying to think..7:49 PM Jul 26th from web in reply to mswiftsmom

ok, where the hell was I? Oh yeah, Donovan, coming out of Mrs. V's place, half naked, while she waves from the porch in a nightie...ewww...7:50 PM Jul 26th from web

I'll need to wash my eyes out with alcohol to rid myself of that image. And I better call @sasseefrassee in the morning before my mom does..7:51 PM Jul 26th from web

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